Author: staceyhellman319

Many people come to therapy because they feel “lost” and are trying to figure out how to feel happier and more satisfied with their lives in general. I have seen this happen a lot for clients (mostly women) who have been homemakers most of their adult lives, and then when their kids go off to […]

The traditional world of psychology and psychiatry is based on diagnosing people. Certain clusters of behaviors and characteristics have been labeled abnormal or indicative or a disorder, condition, or mental illness. If you are reading this blog, I’m guessing you were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or think you or someone you know might […]

Before the Pandemic, I was completely opposed to doing psychotherapy online but then I was forced to choose between closing my therapy practice or switching to virtual sessions. Obviously there were real safety concerns and it wasn’t safe to be in-person. I had never been a fan of telehealth even though many of my therapist […]

While traditional treatment approaches addiction as a “disease” that needs to be managed, I’ve found that taking a strengths-based approach yields more meaningful, lasting change even for people who have been labeled “chronic relapsers.” I see addictive behaviors simply as coping strategies that end up causing harm unintentionally.  No one means to develop a dependence […]

Here’s what I’ve found to be true across the board with regards to anger: 1) Anger is a naturally occurring emotion for human beings. 2) Anger is a defensive response to feeling threatened, hurt, or vulnerable, 3) Anger can be an important step in healing trauma, injustice, or betrayal. 4) Anger is message from yourself […]

Attachment theory (created by the work of John Bowlby) is the foundation of my therapy practice and the more I learn about it, the more I want to share the information with clients. I can’t tell you how many times a client has had a profound “A-Ha!” moment when I explain some aspect of attachment […]

The idea of making peace with your inner critic isn’t a new idea and there are already whole books written on the topic. However I’ve found it to be such a transformative aspect of the therapy process that I wanted to write a blog about it.  My approach isn’t unique; it falls under the framework […]

When we experience emotional discomfort, we also experience it in our bodies, and thus we can use physical means to effectively create comfort. These physical means can be very simple but powerful by utilizing the five senses. The more senses we use in combination, the more effective the comfort routine will be.  The more often […]

Throughout my clinical experience, I’ve noticed that a common issue that many people struggle with is saying “yes” when they actually mean “no,” otherwise known as People-Pleasing. I’ve found this to be true for those who experienced severe and obvious complex trauma throughout childhood, but also those with more subtle forms of unmet emotional needs […]

I’m not sure if it’s due to societal norms changing with each generation or other factors but I’m finding more and more clients contemplating leaving their partner even after decades. This group includes folks of any sexual orientation, age, and gender. In situations where their partner has been repeatedly unfaithful or abusive, it becomes clear […]